what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
