weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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