a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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