He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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