i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
