I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
