i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
