THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
