Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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