apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
