the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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