Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
my poor anus
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
