me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
