Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
