That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
