I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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