as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
