Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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