I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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