if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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