I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
