You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
