I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i think i just lost a toe
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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