you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize