He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
