I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
