Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sorry about my life...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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