I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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