Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize