I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
