Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
