if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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