so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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