I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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