i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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