Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
