am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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