hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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