I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
