But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
