and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
