His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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