i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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