So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
