The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
