Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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