stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
