haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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