He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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