Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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