just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
