What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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