The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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