I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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