Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize