doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
