Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
