She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.