Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
