How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
